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Mauritius Hash Trash 511

10-02-2008 St Martin Harry + Pierrot Henriette #511

Our Alan Swizzle dazzled us all again today with his vivid appearance as GM… announcing that he tied up the real GM in the sugarcane
SAY WHAT? (He was just joking!)(Tongue-in-cheeky Alan!!!) and proclaiming the presence of a “mystery RA”

So off we went into the SUN – it was a very hot and humid day today – but the hares did a great job and made sure we all returned safely to the on-in and that first beer was a very welcome one indeed. We enjoyed great views of mountains and sea and even went past a small river – truly an unpredictable agricultural adventure.

Back where all the circular action started – the GM wanted to know what everybody thought of the run today and we all agreed that for first timer hares Harry & Pierot did great and they got an honorary down-down for their novice efforts – well done chaps!

The Hash Crowd was very submissive today – GM Alan was most surprised but still managed to stand in a spot where there was a wall between him and the rest of the Plebs and Captain Nemo did in fact comment on this BRAVE MOVE. You never know – maybe he was not in the mood for an impromptu beer shower!

We also had the pleasure to introduce the skills of our young Bar Master Kevisen.

1 timer

Ann (UK – Hash Alias = Goody-Two-shoes)

2 timer
O-oh this hash name could get her into trouble!

Simon (UK – Hash Alias = Maestro)
Alistair (Rock Off from Jersey)

Special declaration – we are missing a certain smelly character…
Mmm is it
Purple …
Or could it be
Maybe it’s
Or is it…wait for it…yes…

The one & only smelly blue will return shortly to this HASH NEAR YOU, watch this space and start SHIVERING with ANTICIPATION.

GM Alan at last revealed ALISTAIR as our MYSTERY RA who was shocked at the fact that nobody took off their hats while the GM spoke!

In Jersey (OK I get it now, our stand-in RA is a Mr.When-We…as in, when we were in Jersey we used to do this etc…)
Oh well before I lose track of my thread…In Jersey the hashers of the round circle take their hats off while the GM is speaking…in Mauritius
we don’t do that so he almost gave the lot of us mad hatters a down-down for this disrespect!


Alistair’s second shocking revelation was that we don’t know the proper hash down-down song or at least that we are singing it in the wrong word order but with the same tune…

In Jersey (again – when we were in Jersey…) they sing it like this: (in the UNCENSORED version the word “hashers” is replaced by the word “b*st*rds” but you did not hear that from me ok?)

All together now!!! For the GUEST HASH DOWN-DOWN SONG!

Me me me me me me (to get the right note!)

They are hashers through and through
They are hashers true & blue
They are hashers so they say
And they’ll never get to heaven in a long long way
Get it

But we also sing it like that (well, almost! Juggling a few lines) and in the end we sing…
They never got to heaven so they went the other way
Drink it
And if need be…if they can’t down their beers fast enough…
Why are we waiting?……………………………………………………………………
And the rest of the words are ARBITRARY and not to be revealed by my pen today.

Zip it Zanni!
Marinated hashers know the words anyway!

Let’s concentrate on the guilty people of today’s run!

1 ~ RA Alistair had to have his revenge on two naughty HARRIETTES for the following sins… HENRIETTE…for pointing out 4 sins that he himself committed and for which he would have gotten a d-d if indeed he hadn’t been nominated as mystery RA…and Jacqueline who laughed out loud at him yesterday when he fell smack down on his wee bottom (poor thing) so they had to pay the price! Come to think of it…why did they forget to pour some beer on him for being so…vengeful, a little tit for tat would have been a proper repayment, girls!

2 ~ someone who didn’t learn from his haute couture mistakes on the hash…ooh ooh I wonder who is he referring to – Brian from Devonshire!!! Brian still looked like going to a boardroom meeting just with shorter trousers and he deserved this down-down because it is his last hash with us before going back to the UK…and we would like to wish him all the best and happy returns (if he has the guts to come back to this potty crowd!)

3 ~ who would have guessed, surprise surprise, the RA heard that GM Alan thought he was IMMUNE to a double d and BEYOND PUNISHMENT but he thought wrong and was summoned to pay for his preposterousness

And so we got to sing the Jersey Hash Song thrice in one day –
That’s enough for any M-hasher to bear –

Let’s bring on the FOOOOOOOD

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