Mauritius Hash Trash 540

29-03-2009 Tamarina Marie-Anne, Yanie and Dodocop Gaetan and Nicole #540

HASH QUIET!

GM Alan was waving his toilet brush around to get everyone’s attention, and after a very long run in the heat and through the sugarcane…the hashers were more tame than usual.

Run 540 ~ summing up the circle
GM Alan announced that the hierarchy had their mismanagement meeting the Friday before and it was “mumbled” to make today a ROTTEN RUN so people won’t come back for more SWEATING FUN!
It turned out that the hares took the GM seriously and laid an 11.5 km trail in the searing heat of the Tamarin sun……to see how many true blue hashers we could squeeeeeze out of today’s turn-up.

The GM continued with feedback from the notorious mismanaged meeting…and mentioned how we discussed FOOD AT THE HASH

HASH FOOD CONUNDRUM

The choice was, after quite a debate, between BRING YOUR OWN or VOLUNTEER COOKS.
The GM wanted to put this decision to a full circle vote, but before long the situation became somewhat WOBBLY and Captain Nemo chirped in to play a little voting game with us –
Everybody had to group into the various opinion corners…
AHOY!!!
Confusion!!!
Havoc and general scattering of marbles in the mismanaged circle!
The biggest group turned out to be those who still preferred volunteer cooking…


So it was decided that we would keep the status quo for the next few hashes – or until our wheels fell off again! – and our Kitchen Mistresses Marie-Jo and Philida, would chase those who voted to put their names on the list for future volunteer hash cooks. So watch it, you’re on the menu!

SEND IN THE HARES!
Left Right Left!
The “pimp” marched in with his GI Janes – record distance of pure sweat…more about this later when the RA takes the floor…

Our bar lady for today was ABIGAIL

1 timer
Joelle (Mauritius)
Ram (Mauritius)
Astrid (Mauritius)
Laura (Mauritius)

2 timer
Teresa (Seychelles)
Annick and Elody (Mauritius)

RA John timidly entered the circle – showing off his G-string or some leg…to everyone’s amusement

1 ~ The RA started his first introductory punishment speech, confessing that he didn’t normally complain (like his wife – let’s hope she never reads this!).BUT…a hash trail normally includes checks, boxes, arrows etc… yet today it lacked one very essential ingredient! GILBERT was the guilty HARE / TRAILMASTER …because normally a false trail consists of two dots and then two horizontal lines meaning a check back – and today the RA ran up all the falsies and never once found the two lines on any of them…So Dodocop, the SEXUAL DEVIANT, who was supposed to show good trail laying governance – had to be punished for not laying the trail but the trail layers!!! (And for all his IMAGINERY false trail lines!) Dodocop doggedly excused himself and said it was done on purpose to knacker the RA – for which off course he would get a double down-down!

2 ~ Intelligence can be a wonderful virtue, but could also be dangerous! The RA was going to pull out one hash member amongst us who pretended to be an intellect on national television! MIKE! He was a panellist on a school debate programme sponsored by the Rotary Club and the Brain Trust…but the RA dropped the T and called it the Brain Rust – because he thought Mike was a silent comatose and not being intellectual at all.

3 ~ the SITTING~OUTSIDE~THE~CIRCLE~CONSPIRACY!!! Debbie, Patrick, Marie Claire and Harold. Here’s to the VIEUX HASHERS (old hashers) – who could not stand on their feet long enough.

4 ~ The RA pulled a disgraceful photograph out of his (hat?) – another sexual deviant… CLAUDE … seen at the last Smelly Blue handover in a provocative a-la-japanese position with Tomoko! RA John gave our very own SEXUAL RELIC a down-down down his shorts…assuring all the girls that it would cool Claude down for at least two weeks!

SMELLY BLUE MOMENT

Tomoko boldly stepped forward to announce…
She had found a man who always wears a big blue t-shirt and is also a secret smoker!
CHRIS!
Oooooh la la ~ with a look of utter disgust written all over his face, Chris reluctantly accepted ~ and since the hierarchy decided to ban the smelly blue and the consequent smelly shower, Chris was spared but he still had to get down on his knees while he got anointed by the GM.
HASH HUSH – all eyes on the GM‘s Loo Brush!

It was time to break it up – enough circle stuff for one day!

Thanks to Gaetan and Nicole who contributed the food today – it was positively delicious and we even had seconds and sweets!

Scorching sun and sugarcane
I know just whom to blame!
But not even a distance of eleven point five
Could stop us doing the HASH JIVE!!!

Great to see ya!
Mwa mwa mwa

Zan – Your Edit Hare