The Mauritius Hash Trash 291
04-07-1999 Mackabee Forest Detlev (& Dagmar?) #291
SUPREME RAMBLES Welcome all the “NEW HASHERS” and thanks for coming back all the 2nd
Great to see JOHN “The Stallion” back in the fold…!! And of course, great to see all the rest of you “Gluttons for Punishment”…!!
Thanks all of you for making a… COLD … WET… WINDY…Day into another very memorable Hash…??!! RAMBLING ON
GEEEZE…??!! I was told when I became a Hasher… It was all DRINK and
NO RUNNING…!!It’s a Bloody Lie…!! It’s all “RAIN… RAIN…RAIN…!! RUN… RUN… RUN…!! MUD… MUD… MUD…!! WIND… WIND… WIND…!! FREEZE… FREEZE… FREEZE…!! LOVELY! Just what all good Hashes should be…!! Great Hash… well done “Dead left” and “Ice Maiden” and what’s more, a very good turn out for a Hash in the RAIN BELT…!! Oh, CONGRATULATIONS for the great FOOOOOD…!! Despite the charcoal getting soaked and Supremous Blobus (me) Stopping the early food handout…??!! all went well and everyone had some hot food.
Thanks to all the Volunteers…!!
RAMBLING ON ON Sorry there were “NO” T-Shirts on sale…!! We will sort “HIM” out at
the next Hash…??!! There’s nothing like a good soaking to sell “T” shirts…??!!
RAMBLING TO AN END Don’t forget there’s a Camping Hash on one of the outer Islands around
Mauritius, and a Hash on Rodrigues Island coming up soon…!! EYE BALL our Hash Web site…
See you at the next Hash…ON. ON.SUPREMOUS BLOBUS
First Hash Welcome to
Marie-Claude’s husband, Philip Vallet & family;
Alec’s Swedish replacement, Anders Carlberg whose family will arrive soon;
Renate from Germany and Claudie’s family,
Jean-Francois and Katia.
Hope to see you all at the next one!
Marie-Claude Vallet ‘Red Hiding Wood’ came back along with
Christian ‘Peg Leg’ and
Religious Advisor Our R.A. is in Rodrigues on reconnaisance duty for our Hash there over the weekend of 22-24 October.However, in his absence, Supremous Blobus led us in prayer – amen.
The Jumbo Achievers Award From Geeta to Bali Boy Cabrelli.
Children’s Award Isabel to Kendric. Remember to put your name on the green chap and bring it along to the next Hash.
Fashion Award The end of another era – Maggot handed over the reins to our new F.A. Sylvia but not before awarding Lord Russell the Hero’s Award for giving her his jumper to keep her warm. Ahhhh, isn’t that nice!The True Blues for matching purple anoraks got the award from Sylvia.
Smelly Blue T-Shirt Mecki ‘Mickey Mouse’ Wiemers believes it to be a disgrace (!!) for female Hashers to kneel in front of Supremous Blobus so quickly returned the Smelly Blue to the boys.The lucky winner who was in need of a dry t’shirt, although I doubt he had this one in mind, was Peter ‘Piss Pot’ Krista.Don’t forget your personality profile to Edit Hare.
Special Down Down
John ‘Italian Stallion’ Cabrelli for being the first of the FRBs (Front Running Bastards for the new comers).
Also to Yves ‘Boogie Woogie’ Robert for sneaking food before the Hash circle had closed.
Remember, this is a big NO, NO.
Hash Business Thank you Afzal and helpers for the great food!
Next Hash #292, 18 July, 1000 hrs – R.A. & Anand at the Le Val CEB Power Station
Directions From Curepipe move South towards Airport using the Trunk Road. Branch off on your left at Midlands (under bridge) or Nouvelle France and take road leading to Le Val Nature Park
NB Hash is NOT at the Nature Park. Slow down at Main check post at top of hill and follow Hash Signs. Those coming from the South-East/Mahebourg may use the Riche-en-Eau/ St Hubert Road.On. On.
Hare Line Hash #293, 01 August – Volunteers??
Food Line Hash #292, 18 July – Marie-Claude & Alexandra
Diary Dates Rodrigues Hash 22 – 24 October.As soon as final prices are known, we will advise you!
Hash #300 will be on 07 November.
Grand Masters; Blob Latimer (6963815) & Kevin Murray (2835534)
Trailmaster: Lord Russell
Hash Horn; Yves “BoogieWoogie” Robert
Fashion Advisor: Sylvia
Religious Advisor/Sex Councillor: Leslie Nimno
Barbecue Bearer: David ‘Shortie’ Colbert
Ice Maiden; Dagmar Neubacher
Ha$h Ca$h; David ‘Shortie’ Colbert
Drinks for Wimps and Kids: Julie & John
Bangers and Hash: Reverse Alphabet
Hash Market: Bob Tumblety
Web Meister: Alan Oliphant
Edit-Hare: Wendy Austin (6257399) firstname.lastname@example.org
Some clever anagrams
Dormitory – Dirty room
Desperation – A rope ends it
The Morse Code – Here come dots
Slot machines – Cash lost in ’em
Animosity – Is no amity
Mother-in-law – Woman Hitler
Snooze alarms – Alas no more Z’s
Alec Guinness – Genuine class
Semolina – Is no meal
The public art galleries – Large picture halls
A decimal point – I’m a dot in place
The earthquakes – That queer shake
Eleven plus two – Twelve plus one
Contradiction – Accord not in it
To be or not to be – that is the question, whether its nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
In one of the Bard’s best thought of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.
“That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.”
A thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on moon!
100 THINGS EVERY MAN SHOULD KNOW (thank you David Colbert)
Knowledge, according to David McCandless, is power. So feel the puissance of Stuff’s guide to everything you should know. Mysteries are explained, Facts unearthed. Revelations revealed. Never again will a young child ask you a question you can’t answer. So go ahead, learn something, in this our third installment.
21. And why do you never get any sympathy when you have a hangover? Technically you have poisoned yourself. You deserve it.
22. What’s the best hangover cure? Eating lots of salty food (preferably in the form of a big, greasy breakfast) to maximise salt infusion.
23. What is ‘silly mid on’ in cricket? This is the fielder who stands about six feet in front of the batsman, leg side. He can catch a ball which just skips off the bat or pad but if the batsman tonks it, it’s going to smack him in the face. Hence the name.
24. Does the cold cause colds? Absolute rubbish! It’s a virus.
Warning – Hashers with queasy stomachs, go directly to No. 26.
25. What is snot, where does it come from and why the hell is it green? Mucus is made up of glycoprotein and salts and is secreted by special glands. When your mucus is green or yellow or that weird oyster grey, it’s got lots of bacteria in it and should be wiped quickly on the nearest curtain.
Nasolingus, incidentally, is the sexual act of eating someone else’s mucus.
26. Why can’t you use your mobile phone at a garage? Should it ring, tiny electrical charges in your phone could technically ignite petrol fumes or spilt oil.In a worst case scenario, petrol, oil and those barbecue logs and briquettes they always have lined up outside would fall on top of you just as your phone rang.
27. Why are dog years worth seven human years? Dogs have a very different metabolic rate. Their cells multiply and decay at different rates to humans. This process is different again in rabbits and elephants. Speaking generally, large dogs live longer than small dogs.
28. How do you make perfect roast potatoes? From the posh London restaurant Villandry – ‘Heat some olive oil to smoking point while you cut your potatoes in wedges. Fry them for 3 – 4 minutes and then spread them over a baking tray. Throw in a handful of cumin seeds and a touch of salt, cover in foil and stuff in the oven for an hour’.
29. Why does water go down the drain in different directions on each side of the equator? You can thank the Coriolis force caused by the Earth’s rotation.Its effect is zero at the Equator so water just goes straight down the plug hole and storms like cyclones or hurricanes cannot form.
30. Why do we have an appendix? It’s a throwback to when we were cute little monkeys swinging from tree to tree, eating shrubs and grass. It’s for digesting cellulose but it’s possible for food like doner kebab and pork scratchings to ‘fall’ into the appendix and sit there for months, rotting and causing infection. The best way of removing an appendix is with a spoon, apparently.