Mauritius Hash Trash 535

18-01-2009 Ferney Bertrand and Dodocop Jacqueline L. #535

3 words…
No Mr. RA Rock Off…I’m NOT talking about the pop group!!!
I’m referring to the big W…
I’m talking about the WEATHER.
This was an impromptu WET T~SHIRT RUN.
Let’s see who won???

Back at base…our ROCK DOG RA aka Alistair the Untouchable…graciously introduced our GM Alan and everybody applauded the hares for a magnificent run.

Run 535 ~ the dry & boring run
Hee hee hoo hoo haa haa – just pulling your legs!

No doubts about this trail, it was decidedly one of the most slippery, glidingly and muddy adventures on the WET SCALE since a very long time and every last one of us got soaked…even the wimps that stayed behind (yours truly amongst those oh oh !!~)

So…with the hares front & centre in the GM‘s spotlight… we all decided on 12/13 on the Rosemarie Scale but the score went down to 11.75 and then dropped to 9 because the hares forgot to say their prayers and thus didn’t pray the rains away…hey someone had to be blamed!!


GM Alan wished to show his true-toiletbrush-approval for the hares who have to visit the site and lay the trail at least 4 times before every run (even if it didn’t look like it today!) and he wanted to remind everybody that every hasher should …after 10 hashes…at least volunteer to do the food or set the trail – Hu hmmmmm – Trailmaster Dodocop chipped in too and announced his DESPERATE search of volunteer hares for future trails – you have been warned!
The TRASHCAM will be zoooooooooooming in on you!

1 timer
Clifford and his wife Debra & kids Angeline & Sean (Mauritius)
Nicholas (Mauritius)
Tamoko (Japan)
Sven (Switzerland)
Christian (Germany)

2 timer
Unfortunately…there were NO second timers and we all know what this means folks!!! Down~down for the honorary Grand Master!! GM Alan tried to ask if there were any third timers…just to worm his way out of it AND even tried to skimp on the SIZE of his down-down by suddenly appearing with a goblet the size of an ESPRESSO CUP …OH TRASH ME! He was in BIG trouble with his SMALL mug and Henriette quickly came to his rescue with a PROPER SIZED BEERMUG.

As usual, our theatrical GM still wanted to have the final word and whilst searching for his emblem of authority…his highly feared TOILET BRUSH… he reminded everybody how good it was at the hash that no-one takes themselves too seriously and (whilst waving the t-brush) – he wanted to stress upon everyone what a good leveller the hash really was. (Especially for him today!!!)

Aaaaaah the time has come for the RA’s gallant entrance…

Dodocop got summoned, as usual, to be the CHOIRMASTER.

To my surprise and relief, the RA announced a trash wobble.
Last hash, he confessed that he had lost a very good friend of his and I thought he was talking about a proper person friend but all the while the dear departed friend he spoke about was his bleedin’ running shorts so OOOOOOOOOPS– big trash trobbly wobbly – sorry!!! ~

An anonymous hasher washed AND dried the infamous shorts & SHRUNK them…and they ended up in Jacqueline’s drawer….making us all wonder if it meant that the RA wanted to get into Jacqueline’s drawers…???

RA Alistair wanted to focus on another part of the HASHER WARDROBE just to take the heat off his shrunken shorts…one word…SHOES!!!

1 ~ JOHN was called in and asked to lift his leg and he was lifted like a ballerina by the RA who was trying to prove a point – John had no soul! Jeepers, I mean, no SOLES!!! Both his soles fell off simultaneously and he continued running with his two soles in one hand to glue them back later and was praised by Captain Nemo for being such an environmentally friendly Scotsman!

2 ~ CHRIS … wearing the other pair of shoes on the RA‘s mind…shoes which he called DECK SHOES and (probably) not the best shoes to hash with but rather the kind of footwear to stroll around a yacht with…yet he was surefooted as a gazelle and made the RA wonder if it was a good idea to change to this NEW TREND???

Here’s to the Sole – less …they are very blue!
Hey – come back Dodocop!!! – The circle can’t sing without you!

3 ~ how many people got caught SPEEDING on the motorway en route to the hash? Veronique, Patrick and Lindsay all got a whopping Rs 6000 fine between them and we really hope the hash was worth it for them and we also hoped they wouldn’t get fined for drunk driving on the way back – so here’s to the LAWLESS buggers…

4 ~ Claude, David and Brian…Could anybody guess why the RA called these 3 stooges to the d~d bar??? John suggested a “ménage a trois” (ha) but the RA announced that he had the bright idea during the run to have a Mr. WET T-shirt competition later and could just imagine all the ladies getting excited by the vision of the threesome in their wet T-shirts but his vision quickly dried up when they all took their t-shirts off! So he had to call in a 4th candidate – LAURENT – who won the prize for the best worn wet T-shirt during the run and all 4 STUDS had to down a beer for their heinous sins.

Troo Bee Doo Bee Shoo
It’s time…
For the

Jumping John Flash appeared with Smelly, sporting a pair of socks hanging from its seams & a pair of underpants on his head…INSTANT SUPER HERO! He wanted to give the Smelly Blue to a man who has done public service for many years and who was famous for his humane acts such as mild cholestation and trug drafficking…oooh la la, the trash censors have triggered the alarm and jammed into a spoonerismic freeze – and JEAN was called in to wear the Smelly next to the SKIN!!! He was very brave during his smelly shower and we all assured him we loved him while he was shouting for John Flash to be expelled from the Hash.

Details of the next hash
RA Alistair aka our next HARE had no clue yet and tried to be secretive … so his secret is safely woven into the trash web and for any details please consult the hash spider for further info.

The hash food table has been reported missing by Iceman Dave.
It seemed like no-one in the circle knew where it was…so our Ha$h Ca$h Henriette was sweetly asked if she could spare some rupees for another table… and Captain Nemo volunteered to replace the table for us, “the same model…just a brand new one” – WOW, aren’t we lucky!

So from the TABLE to the FOOD!!! Thanks to Jacqueline we had a super yummy lunch with footlongs & chicken fillings ~ great stuff!

Hey, did I mention the rain stopped and we ended up having a beautiful afternoon in an idyllic spot, we all stayed longer and got spoiled by our two very new best friends Sven & Christian, who conjured up a whole cool box filled with beer as if by magic…guys you better come back to the hash WE LOVE YOU!!!

This is the stuff hash dreams are made of…
A bunch of muddy dishevelled runners … around a crate of beer … talking heaps of nonsense … in all kinds of weather conditions … trying to invent innovative ways of solving the world’s problems (economic & otherwise).


Drink a pint
Sing a foolish song
Chase a hare
And come along!
Join us merry hashers
On our fortnightly HASHATHON! Learn to fall off your chair with flair …

Zan – Your Edit Hare

The Hash Mish-Management Team
Supreme Being:Alan “Strong On”
Hare Line + Trailmasters:Gilbert “Dodocop”; Tel: (M)910 4062
Deputy: Alan “Strong on”; Tel: (H)675 0365, (M)790 9782
Cellarmaster:Chris & Tess (beer-a-dor/labrador) & Deputy Bob
Hash Horn:Blob “Supremous Blobus”
Religious and Sex Advisor:Alistair
Ice Man:Dave H.
Ha$h Ca$h:Henriette
Drinks for Wimps ‘n Kids:Harold
Hash Market:Marie-Claude
Edit Hare:Zandré,
Stand-in: Adrienne (or anyone who can write)
Kitchen Mistress:Marie Jo (Tel. 453 9675) & Sarah as gourmet deputy

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