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Mauritius Hash Trash

13-12-2008 Beau Vallon Rey ‘Hot Pants’ Caterer #533

Let those feel good juices flow…

Run 533 ~ spreading love
We were all dressed up in red and ready to take Mahebourg by storm!
So off we went, handing out sweets & gifts to children along the way, and even to the elderly in the village hospital.
I will never forget some of those grateful looks in the children’s eyes ~ to think that something so simple & sweet could make a child’s heart so happy – that is priceless.

Merry RED Circle Round the Pool

GM Alan was in his element today, he had a MICROPHONE so he didn’t have to shout to get everyone’s attention – Yay!

Calling in the RED HOT HARE – HOT PANTS REY!

We all agreed that this was the best Red Dress Run ever, because not only did we paint the town red, we also turned it into a Charity Event and it was special and kind of magical, don’t you all agree?
So here’s to Rey, an honour down-down for an unforgettable day!

RA Peter chipped in after the hash song…suggesting we should change the word BLUE to RED, but alas this caused a slight WOBBLE in the hash tune lyrics!

Normal Hash Down Down Song

Here’s to the Sinner
He’s so BLUE
He’s a hasher through and through
He’s a hasher so they say
Tried to get into heaven but he went the other way

Red Hash Down Down Song (Suggestion)

Here’s to the Sinner
He’s so RED
He’s a hasher BORN & BRED
He’s a hasher so they say
Tried to get into heaven but he went the other way

We might want to learn that for the next time … today no-one had any rhyme skills!

GM Alan announced that we would not have any first or second timer introductions today, so without further ado,RA Peter jumped into the pool….ooooooops I mean into the circle.

RA Peter the Scottish Viking.

Bonjour madames, mademoiselles, hommes and aunts!
Herewith a little Christmas Ditty from the Poetic Gems Travelling Suitcase.

The Warthog – Part XXXI

Rudolph the Red,
Knows Rain,

It was before the eve of Christmas,
With all good Mauritians tucked away.
That Santa was on his rounds,
On his jolly red sleigh.

And in a corner of the island,
A band of hashers he spied.
Gathered in their insobriety,
And to all of them he cried…

“What are you doing”, said he.
“We drink and make merry!” was our repartee.
“At our annual red dress run, you fat old git”,
“Grab a beer and join us in your red Santa outfit!”

1 ~ ~ RA Peter was mentioning the nastiest sinners of the lot…Accountants who can’t account. We all wondered who was going to take the first d~d and were wholeheartedly disappointed and surprised that REY was called! The RA‘s question was if Rey set the trail from back to front or from front to back? Accountants often tell us the cheque’s in the post…in Rey’s case there were no checks at all during the first and second half of the trail…not even any that BOUNCED!!!So he has to be our Red Dress Run’s White Collar criminal…

2 ~ ~ those who mistreat little children…The RA reminded us that the purpose of today’s hash was to give rather than to take …and he spotted someone who took sweeties from the children! Oooh la la , we all wondered in anticipation who that could be? None other than angelic GM Alan himself.
The gossip goes that GM Alan ran out of sweeties, borrowed some from RA Peter, gave a sweetie to a child and then took it back again! In his own defence the GM explained that it was not a small child and that he didn’t say thanks nor smiled…so he didn’t deserve it and it was taken away to give to another more deserving child. And we all thought he really deserved his down-down!

3 ~ Sex on the hash. Blatant sex on the hash could be very offensive…oh no who is in trouble now? Henriette! RA Peter noticed that the back of her Santa Suit was full of grass and having such a squeaky clean mind he asked her about it and she replied that she had to go for a “shortie”…Hmmmm…who knows what that means…plus she fled to have a shower so she escaped the dreaded down down power!

4 ~ DAVID! An honorary coca cola down down is in order! David scored 5 A+ results in his CPE exams, placing him amongst the first 120 brains in Mauritius in his final year of Primary school. We are all very proud of him and he deserves a big round of applause!

RA Peter asked the swimmers who were sitting quietly in the pool (middle of the circle) all this time…to show themselves so we could see if they shrunk…if they needed ironing…and if they would drip dry?

No handing over of Smelly Blue today – I guess it’s just not the right colour!

Oooooops we almost forgot…
GM Alan handed over the microphone to Zan…
For a surprise Prize Giving!

I was tempted to have a vote for the sexiest boy’s legs thus putting GM Alan and RA Alistair at the top of my list of candidates…then I had the idea of giving a prize to the best dressed Hasher and Harriette…but during the trail I changed my mind again and again until I finally found the two best suited hashers to commemorate on this auspicious day.
I thought that we should concentrate on all those HAPPY HASHER FEET that ran through Mahebourg and rest our gaze on two pairs of very particular feet!

*CARL ~ he won his prize for running BAREFOOT through town, this castaway child of Santa’s is no yuppie and he has the soles to prove it!

*Marie France ~ she took the prize for walking in her HIGH HEELED STILLETTO BOOTS all through town…surely a very courageous pair of feet indeed.

Calling in Trailmaster David, looking ever so sexy in his Santa Suit!
Our next run will be on the 4th of January and it will be Zan & Peter setting the trail….but between you and me…..I have no idea where it will be!


I want to thank everybody who helped to make today such a big success – Sarah for organising the venue, Henriette for collecting the money and always putting up with this stress, she really deserves very special thanks. Also, Jean & Philida, for organising the bus…Carl for bringing the Ice Boxes, Peter for bringing the ICE, Chris & Tess for the Beers…Harold & Adrienne for the softies ….and Leslie for the zooty red dress tickets. Thanks also to Marie Claire and gang for organising the great live music band.
If I have forgotten anyone, you may ask for a RED HUG next time you see me for overlooking your contribution to a lovely day.

& make merry!

Hold on to your hats!

2008 is on its way out into the fast track of history, 2009 is waiting anxiously to scoop you up…so hold on tight and get ready for another adventure ride.

Love you all lots!

Zan – Your Edit Hare
PS ~

I was approached by a depressed turkey.
He asked me to please give you all a Culinary Christmas Message.

The Hash Mish-Management Team
Supreme Being:Alan “Strong On”
Hare Line + Trailmasters:Gilbert “Dodocop”; Tel: (M)910 4062
Deputy: Alan “Strong on”; Tel: (H)675 0365, (M)790 9782
Cellarmaster:Chris & Tess (beer-a-dor/labrador) & Deputy Bob
Hash Horn:Blob “Supremous Blobus”
Religious and Sex Advisor:Alistair
Ice Man:Dave H.
Ha$h Ca$h:Henriette
Drinks for Wimps ‘n Kids:Harold
Hash Market:Marie-Claude
Edit Hare:Zandré,
Stand-in: Adrienne (or anyone who can write)
Kitchen Mistress:Marie Jo (Tel. 453 9675) & Sarah as gourmet deputy

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