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Mauritius Hash Trash 526

07-09-2008 Jardin de Beau Vallon Alan and Leslie Caterer #526

What started off as a huge and ominous heavenly downpour ended up to be a bright sunny day – filled with fun for everyone.

How to sum up today’s trail……with just a few words?
Rainy / Sunny
Potato fields!

Sorry for repeating that M word…it’s just that my brain was sliding into a muddy puddle…
Whoopee dooopee dooo.
Today’s special run was definitely not for fake hashers!
Indeed, it was a real hash!
Full of giddy and skiddy watery wet adventures!

Run 526 ~ 90 Thirsty hashers in a circle

Oh my!
Hash Disaster Mr. Grand Master!
The new Hash Mishmanagement Team made a proper entrance with the GM having to announce the severe tragedy…

With 90 people here
We have run out of beer!

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GM Alan called for his deputies and the circle was in frenzy…
Inspector David…Chris…Bob and Leslie…Disaster Masters!
Now this is exactly why they are called the MISMANAGEMENT, with an extra H to spell MISHMANAGEMENT, and the reason why our new GM avoided this disposition for seven years.
But what to do?
The circle must go on!


Shall we try this again ?

Alistair, our new joint RA, stepped into the circle with a borrowed cloak making everyone wonder if he was actually wearing anything underneath (being Scottish & all)…to announce the inauguration of the new GM.

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For this special occasion we have the honour of announcing ‘Mr. Marlon Brando’ who flew in especially for the occasion and dressed the part in suit & tie out of respect for the CIRCLE (and new-GM-to-be Alan was beaming from ear to ear!)

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I, the DON, appointed by the Family, see that you Alan are a man of respect, and it gives me great honour…(WHERE”S THE BLOODY BEER???) to hereby anoint and bless you…
Anointing & appointing our new GM Alan with one whole beer poured lavishly over his head.

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Hee Haa!
Loud applause & lots of shouting…
GM Alan can’t see a thing
With all that beer in his eyes!
The next question inevitably on everyone’s mind was…where did he get that TOILET BRUSH from and was it new or used???

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GM’s Important Announcements

Due to the confusion of loads of visitors that we probably won’t see again…we would skip the first & second timer spots today and they will become next time’s second & third timers…whatever the case may be…
Many thanks to Sarah for organising the Venue – excellent choice!
Thanks also from the bottom of the GM’s toilet brush for all your VOTES after all his canvassing & campaigning.
The GM also wished to thank the other 2 deputy GM’s Bob & Leslie for standing in during his absence while standing in for GM Supremous Blobus.

Well, as you all know, today is the turning over of the Hierarchy, presenting the new Hierarchs for Hire!

Starting with the Hares who incidentally all form part of the new Hierarchy…..
Front & forward…
Leslie, Marie Claude and off course none other than our newly appointed GM – Alan.
Thanks for a blazing trail hares!

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RA Alistair flew into the circle on his FRENCH BROOM as if by magique, I can’t explique what he said but he assured us that it was his best example of Francais and it was as good as it gets!
Monsieur RA needed to know how much time he had (before we started throwing tomatoes at him?).
10 minutes Maximum!
At the kind mercy of Lord Russell.

Three words…

Oooops I mean….

Three more words…Yay! Yippee! Yay!
Sex Advisor’s TIP of the Day… (Bet you can’t wait for that one!)

With no further ado, the RA conveyed to us how shocking it was that many regular hashers don’t have a hash name!
He promptly pulled out a misty list from his smelly sock and managed to make out three names for three not-planning-to-be-hungry-to-be-named hashers!

Marie Jo, Martin & Philida…and here is WHY.

If you read the trash from our last run 525, you will suspect something about Philida’s 5 year ago memorial broken leg? HA! She earned her name…”BIONIC WOMAN”!
Dodocop, the famous hare of that fateful day, was called in to do the honours.
But wait; let’s find out about the other two…
Marie Jo – for always making sure about the Hash Food and keeping hasher tummies full and fed, she earned her name in dashing Creole style, “KEE POO KWEE”.
Martin – for being the Hash’s very own Animal Magnet…”Martin’s Single-handed Pet Care Association” or “MSPCA”.

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Here’s to the newly named…
They are blue
They are hashers
Through and through!

And down they go!
Dodocop got a shower and a hug from Bionic Woman.



1 ~ … we all know that when you’re out and about on our lovely little isle, you sometimes if not always bump into hashers. Inspector David was spotted on the 28th of August at 2h15 pm at the Ebene Food Court (was it the time of a murder, or was he meeting his girlfriend…or was he going to see the dentist …oh no but that would be…2h30 wouldn’t it?)(As in… tooth hurty…)Nevertheless to cut a mouthful short…RA Alistair was there too, yoopee doo! Sitting on his own-some lonesome, he was so happy to see David who IGNORED him and had to pay the price – he had no defence except that maybe he forgot to wear his glasses?

2 ~ if you happen to be in the media like on the Radio or on TV, or even in the Newspaper…it would be prudent to mention the HASH, now wouldn’t it!
Jennifer was called out for her crime of NOT mentioning the HASH when she was on Radio…oh oh oh, Monsieur RA, tread lightly laddie, you don’t want to tread on VIP feet!

3 ~ A certain hasher suggested that we should have suggested on the website to bring a change of clothing for today’s special place here at Beau Vallon…so the RA suggested to call him out for a down-down! (I suggest you try to spot the multi-suggestive repeated word…yes???)
Claude “the Wrestler”made his entrance wowing all the ladies because he took off his multicoloured rainbow t-shirt and Alan wanted to know if we were jealous of Claude’s Hot Bod?
(What are you trying to …uhm…suggest?)

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Finally, the moment you have been awaiting……no, no, not the blue moment…the mmm moment –

Sex Tip of the Day

Courtesy of our RA!

The RA received letters sent to “Agony Uncle” at the Trash Pages…and was asked to give advice on some “delicate matters”, and to pass on some good tips in good taste…well folks you asked for it, don’t say I didn’t warn you!!!

Sex Tip # 1

You can keep your HAT on!!!

Finally, again…
The OTHER moment you have been anticipating…
Ooooh Ooooh
Smelly Blue!

Harold, who appeared in the Smelly Blue with a huge A4 size picture of himself on the back and claiming not to be egotistical…decided to give it gallantly to Eileen (and this is where the trash hits the fan because I have absolutely NO IDEA why Harold had this brainwave?)
Eileen was ORDERED to the front and in the centre of that circle, and everyone thought it was because she always wanted Harold on her back… but all she got was his picture and a very smelly and very wet shower!
Well done Eileen, you have survived the baptism of a true blue hasher!

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Oh dash ~ !
I have run out of paper & ink…
What a Hash!
What a Bash!
Just think…
While you’re having a drink…

Great food
Awesome company
Loads of dancing
Heaps of laughs!

Well there you have it…

Tricks & tracks
Check backs
False trail fun
All in a day’s menu
Of a jolly hash run!

Join us again
If you dare…
But be aware
You might get ensnared!

Or even bitten…
By the hash-bug!


Zan ~ Your Edit Hare

Hashy hugs from the hare’s favourite teddy bear!

PS – a special farewell note to Isabelle, she is going back to Poland and won’t be at the next hash – good luck and don’t study too much you might hurt your brain!

PPS ~ thank you also to Captain Nemo’s Disco…thanks to Leslie’s music we all became jitterbugs and had loads of fun on the dance floor!

Pictures from the Trash Police…

Muddy legs

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Muddy bums

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And rainbow chums!

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The Hash Mish-Management Team
Supreme Being:Alan “Strong On”
Hare Line + Trailmasters:Gilbert “Dodocop”; Tel: (M)910 4062
Deputy: Alan “Strong on”; Tel: (H)675 0365, (M)790 9782
Cellarmaster:Chris & Tess (beer-a-dor/labrador) & Deputy Bob
Hash Horn:Blob “Supremous Blobus”
Religious and Sex Advisor:Alistair
Ice Man:Dave H.
Ha$h Ca$h:Henriette
Drinks for Wimps ‘n Kids:Harold
Hash Market:Marie-Claude
Edit Hare:Zandré,
Stand-in: Adrienne (or anyone who can write)
Kitchen Mistress:Marie Jo (Tel. 453 9675) & Sarah as gourmet deputy

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