204 Hash Trash Mauritius
01-08-1999 Mare Aux Vacoas J&B Russell / Mireille & Etienne 293
Volume 11, #293 01 August 1999
Well there you go…!! Even I can be totally “WRONG” sometimes…??!! It did not RAIN…!! There was no strong cold wind…!! The FOOOOOD was great…??!! (except if you’re a vegetarian)…!! The BEEEER was plentiful…!! AND… We also had Rum Punches…!! “I LOVE IT IN DE CARIBBEAN”..!! DOWN DE WAY… WHERE DE KNIGHTS ARE GAY? We wish you well the SAVILLE-BROWN Family… we miss you already…!!
All being well the Hash after next will be a Camping Hash on Ile de la Passe – that’s the Island off the coast of Mahebourg where the Battle of Grand Port started in 1810…!! It has a great history and is a great place for budding Archaeologists…!! Get your Camping gear together… This Island does not have a Beach, but the snorkelling is good. Be warned it is difficult to land on, and we may have to stay an extra day if the sea gets too rough to get off…!! Also as usual on outer Islands there is NO fresh water.
I will give out the usual “Equipment Guide List” at the next Hash… I will let you know the cost per person, and/or, the cost of the Boat at the next Hash… It should not be more than Rs. 500.00 per adult.
RAMBLING ON ON
Well what can I say that hasn’t been said already about the Hash except… It was a great Hash well set by the HARES (No short cuts for me)…!! Good to see how many Hashers came dressed for the Caribbean…!! Thanks to Hans “Cat Litter” for the food he donated it as well as cooked it with a lot of help from Tony “Barnacle Bill”. Thanks also to all the other helpers who helped to make the day a success…!! Thanks “Cupid” for the RUM PUNCH…??!! See you at the next Hash… Bring along a Friend…??!!
Long time since there were no First Timers – bring a friend along to the next one!
Welcome back to Vikrama ‘Victory’ Hojird.
Our R.A. actually awarded a much deserved Down Down to Piss Pot for breaking a Hash rule by standing on the pulpit without permission!!
The Jumbo Achievers Award
From ‘Drinks for Wimps’ John to Alec for splashing mud over him in that time honoured way that Hashers will.
Emily via Mum gave this to Sarah who is one of our best ever Hashers and has never had it before.
Marie-Claude was F.A. stand-in and organised a Fashion Parade consisting of Brigitte, Fran, All the Saville-Browns, Julie with Emily and Thomas and Supremous Blobus. After much strutting and brown eyeing, Alec was the winner.
Smelly Blue T-Shirt
Peter ‘Piss Pot’ Krista, after committing the sin of standing on the pulpit without permission, gave this to poor old Second Timer Vikrama who was then barraged with rules and regulations (don’t forget your personality profile to Edit Hare).
Special Down Down
Awarded to all four Hares, just for the hell of it.
Always sad to farewell Hashers, especially when they have done so much for the Hash. Amidst much crying and wailing, it was goodbye to the Saville-Browns. Helped along with some god-knows-what alcoholic concoction of Supreme Cupid’s. They reckon they will come back and see us …. Yeah, yeah, sure. However, we are all very welcome to visit them in Trinidad!
Mass Down Down
Everyone but everyone (except for the absolute wimps) received a Down Down of Supreme Cupid’s concoction – some of us even went voluntarily back for thirds!
Hans very kindly donated all the food and we thank him! Also thanks to you and your helpers for cooking it Hans! The vegetarians have forgiven you……..
#294, 15 August, 1000 hrs – Curly Top
Directions: Follow the road into Flic en Flac. At the Esso filling station, turn right. At the roundabout turn right. After 1km pass the Manoir House Hotel, take the next left. At the end of the road turn left. On. On.
Hash #295, 29 August – Camping Hash
Hash #294, 15 August – Dagmar has kindly volunteered to feed us.
Rodrigues Hash 22 – 24 October.
Hash #300 will be on 07 November.
A RAMBLING PERSONALITY PROFILE FROM PETER ‘PISS POT’ KRISTA
Being born and baptised, was my first event, I couldn’t do anything against it – school and university the second step, which I rushed through in a maximum of time, falling in regular intervals on my head, eight major skiing accidents – I won’t count the others.
Marriage to Elisabeth and baby production was the third step, in the meantime I have three of them, the unofficial ones in Africa, Asia and elsewhere I have never counted. Having been active already in more than 80 different countries gave me a heavy burden, nevertheless I could survive.
In the meantime I had several other occasions where I fell on my head – the reason why I was finally selected to come to Mauritius on a long term basis.
Since that time, I have changed my attitude and no longer fall on my head but on my knees, last time in the National Park – I was knitting with my feet during our run (zwei glatt, zwei verkehrt – for those Hashers who understand the German language – for those that don’t see next page EH) the result you have seen. My right leg looked like a bloody pig leg, ready for the barbecue. However, Blob had the impertinence to make me kneel down only to have my regular beer, which I would have drunk anyway, pored over my head. Blob, you deserve an order for uncontrolled ruthlessness.
On. On. From Piss Pot
REF B: E.C. DOC/SERC/3/92/EC
NOTICE TO THE EMPLOYEES OF GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENTS IN ALL MEMBER STATES OF THE EUROPEAN COMMUNITY
PROPOSAL TO: The Council of Ministers of the European Commission of the European Community by Reichchancellor Helmut Kohl
PHASED INTRODUCTION OF A PAN-EUROPEAN STANDARD FOR ENDUSER COMMUNICATION
Having chosen English as the preferred language in the European Community, the European Parliament, on behalf of the German Government, has commissioned a feasibility study into ways of improving the efficiency in communications between Government Departments.
European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult, for example: ‘cough’, ‘plough’, ‘rough’, ‘through’ and ‘thorough’. What is clearly required is a phased programme of change to iron out these anomalies. The programme would of course be administered by the committee ECOM/NA staffed at top level by all participating nations.
In the first year for example, the Committee suggests using ‘s’ instead of the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would reseive this news with joy. Then the hard ‘c’ would be replaced by ‘k’, sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be konfigured with one letter less.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it was announsed that the troublesome ‘ph’ would henseforth be written ‘f’. This would make words like ‘fotograf’ 20% shorter to print.
In the third year publik akseptanse of the new spelling kould be expekted to reach the stage where more kimplikated shanges are possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre the horible mes of silent ‘e’s in the language is disgraseful. Therefor we kould drop these and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapened. By this time it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptiv to steps sutsh as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’. Perhaps zen ze function of ‘w’ could be taken by ‘v’, vitsh iz, after al, half a ‘w’. Shortly after zis, the unesesary ‘o’ kould be droped from vords kontaning ‘ou’. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplied to ozer kombinations of leters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventule hav a rele sensibi riten styl. After 20 yerz zer vud be no mor trublesum difikultis and evrivun vud find it eze to unerstan ech ozer.
Zen ze dremz of ze Germans vud finale hav kum tru.