Mauritius Hash Trash 358
24-03-2002 Mare Songes (camping) Barnacle / Hot Dog / Blob #358
Hash Trash for run no 358 (edited by Penny Farthing). Run at La Cambuse / Mar aux Songes near Mon Tresor S.E.
The triumvirate of Barnacle, Hot Dog and Blob officiated at run no 358 which was (for those who missed it) the finale to a marvellous camping weekend organised by Blobous Supremus Maximus.
There were copious quantities of beer, Glenfyddich and rum, no cars to drive home, a romantic night under the stars (or canvas), whole roast lamb and, to cap it all, a fantastic location to the west of the Shandrani hotel with a partially sheltered beach opening on to a beautiful expanse of surf.
Before we commence with the fun, let us not forget the catering skills of Shorty and Snow White and her dwarf helpers. Thanks for the lovely grub, which was doubly welcome after a hot trail, invigorating swim and cold beers. The food line was made even more attractive by the shade provided courtesy of Ali Baba’s marquee.
Eventually all were called to muster around the hallowed hash circle and, if you are sitting comfortably, this is what happened:
Hare, The singular hare, Alan “Strong On” was asked to accept a friendly down-down and given 10 out of 10 for bravely being the “live hare” followed by around thirty thirsty hashers.
For once, the trail, (in a brief moment of temporary insanity misnamed a race by the RA, he will be recognised in due course) was short, flat and dry. Unfortunately, it was not cool but what can you expect in summer on a tropical island. But then we had the sea to cool off the outer envelope and ice cold beer to cool the inner harrier and harriette.
Strong on was so gobsmacked by the lack of punishment and retribution normally heaped on his head by our unusually benign RA that he later fainted. Even his Directions to the Hash were not criticised.
Saud and Fatma (with ankle biter) from Saudi Arabia who live and work in Mauritius and hope to be back again.
Arlene, girlfriend of Clive Davidson who hopes to see us again, and we hope to see her.
Carina Maard (daughter of Hot Dog) who is visiting Mauritius but will see us again on her next visit.
Sandeep Bhagwant from Jungle Blue did his best to disrupt proceedings and as the interval between Sandeep’s last hash and this was so long he was given an extra special down-down for being a returnee too!! Sandeep had to be physically restrained from downing his beer before the requisite cue in the second line of the song. His host (Blob) will be recognised in due course. .
Stefan Maard (son of Hot Dog and Danish Pastry) once he had managed to tear himself away from the swimming girls in bikinis was given a foaming brew.
Anna Maria from Rumania, the above mentioned bikini girl was likewise baptised (but not yet named, though somehow I don’t think it will be long).
Goorah was asked to explain what could possibly keep him from honing his fitness levels with MH3 every fortnight and he replied that he had been playing cricket. This almost led to a blow by blow explanation of his last match but, before we fell asleep, Goorah was given his down-down as a bowler of googlies and the mousse was dumped on his glistening curls.
Religious Adviser’s Sinners
Short cutting nominees were Stefan (no excuse being young, fit and athletic ),
Blob (claimed a Glenfyddich hangover),
Barnacle ( claimed he just followed his tired dogs).
Their Oscar thank you speeches were treated with the usual derision and apathy.
Hot Dog RA honestly and bravely nominated himself for unauthorised peeing on the trail.
Our beloved RA then lost control completely by running out of punishments but the pack soon thought of some nominations beginning with
Salina “No Silicone” Maard for turning up (in dad, Hot Dog’s car) and yet not even attempting 10 metres of the trail because she had been partying most of the night.
Hashers are made of sterner stuff and Salina atoned for her sin and took her punishment well. Whether this helped her tiredness (or hangover remains to be told).
RA then asked for some inspiration for his ‘asspiration’ but there were no immediate takers of this coveted prize. However, GM respectfully interjected (a difficult feat when wearing shorts) and asked why Sybile had not brought the smelly blue toilet seat.
Sybile offered no excuse but this brought her to the attention of the RA who decided to punish her not only for forgetting the smelly blue but for also having a very attractive derriere.
The cheeky minx then asked for a Chardonnay down-down but no such luxuries are permitted on MH3 so Phoenix it was.
Sybile was heard to ask if she could swallow it kneeling or lying down.
Blob, Hot Dog and Barnacle nearly trampled each other in the rush to demonstrate but the lucky lady was allowed to remain standing while she took her beer shampoo.
Your GM then recalled that Clive Davidson was not only a first timer but he did not meander the trail, he missed hash business and was, therefore, technically a latecomer. But, as Clive helpfully went to fetch the blotting paper (bread for the uninitiated), he was let off a quadruple down-down. .
Happy Hashers, the day before ….
In Jamie Maddock’s absence the Kiddie’s award was held over until 7 April.
Several traumatised nippers had to receive counselling at this disastrous news.
RA was nominated for child abuse for giving down-downs to his three progeny (Stefan, Salina & Carina) and thereby contributing to their future likelihood of alcohol dependency.
Anna Maria then nominated the GM for not being present over the camping weekend. His reply that he had done enough “camping” in the Royal Marines did not cut much ice with Blob who, by this time, was charge d’affaire with both GM and RA in the punishment stocks
Hash Hymn was then sung and GM reminded those present that the sacred hymn is not a spectator sport. Audience participation was so good the pack will soon be asked to demonstrate their skills without orchestration.
A serious note
Our usually indefatigable, front running ‘Alan Strong on’ later suffered from heat exhaustion and, as he admitted, he had not taken any water with him on his live hare slog through the sugar.
Fortunately, Danish Pastry, Blob, GM and others helped with shade, ice packs and a re-hydrating drink until his condition improved.
We knew Alan was feeling better when he quipped that he should faint more often as he relished the attention given.
The lessons are: – good hat with neck cover, plenty of water before, during and after the trail followed by a shady rest after the trail. :
MISMANAGEMENT COMMITTEE MEETING
The whole committee (including Strong on and his wife Hash Scribe) are invited to Trent Lodge (e-mail me if you need a map) at 7 pm on Wednesday 3 April for a Hash Mismanagement Meeting.
Suggested agenda so far is:
1. Erections (new committee members, if you know of any volunteers outside the usual coterie of suspects, do let us know)
2. Frequency and timing of runs
3. Award of hash potties
4. Scanning of direction maps onto website
5. Maintenance of member’s database
Any items for inclusion on agenda to Barnacle by e-mail on Monday 1 April. Beer and sandwiches will be provided. Regrets only, otherwise I will assume you will all be there and will cater accordingly.
Hashing is a social, recreational, cross-country, running-for-fun activity. It began in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia in 1938.
Albert Gisbert, a chartered accountant, started up the harriers group from among bachelors of the day resident at Selangor Club Chambers.
The “hash house” was the term by which the dining room annex was known, because of its cuisine (nothing to do with hashish, a popular misconception).
The hash trails were laid through the vast rubber plantations on the outskirts of KL.
Since those early days, the number of hash chapters has increased, especially after WWII when allied troops picked up the idea and took it back home, to the point where there are now over 1,700 chapters in over 160 countries.
The hares lay a trail (usually a couple of hours before the pack assembles) of flour, chalk, sawdust or shredded paper (anything biodegradable) over a course in urban or rural areas.
A well laid trail should include false trails and check backs (with a refreshment beer stop in warm weather) and is designed to delay the front runners so that the slower members can catch up, thus ensuring that all hashers and harriettes arrive at the end of the trail within a few minutes of each other.
A trail in Mauritius is generally between 60 and 90 minutes in duration and can be around 3 or 5 km.
The Dodo Hash uses blobs of flour with crosses to indicate checks and parallel lines or a circle to indicate check backs. Flour is usually laid on the left and the golden rule is “if you have passed three blobs, you are on the trail”.
Hounds must shout their status when “Are you?” is called and replies should be “ON ON” if you are on flour; “Checking” if you are checking out the options at a check; “Checking One or Two” if you have sighted blobs after a check; “Check Back” or “False Trail” if you are returning from either and, finally, “Looking” if you are not on flour but casting for the trail.
Directional arrows should be discouraged as they allow FRBs to speed even further ahead.
There are various quaint rules (though, officially there are no rules) and customs to be observed during and after the trail.
Most hashers and harriettes have amusing handles (e.g. Week-Old Member) and there are other names and terminology to be learnt. E.g. we never run – out of beer.
On extremely rare occasions these rules are broken and the Grand Master or Religious Advisor metes out some mild but amusing sentences after the run itself. These punishments generally involve imbibing some liquids. In case of accident a medical first-aid kit is carried on the trail by Barnacle Bill.
Receding Hare Line:
#359 – 7th April Rey ‘Hot Pants’ & Perry Joseph
#360 – 21st April; Tony “Barnacle Bill” & Penny (Their last hash in Mauritius), Pointe aux Cannoniers, BHC campment.
#361 – 5th May; Clarence; Pointe aux Piments
#362 – 19th May; Alan ‘Strong on’ and Gilbert Ferière
Directions to next Hashes:
(Note that I will be away for a few weeks and so I have put as much advance info on this page as I have
been able to collect.)
Hash #359 on 7th April 2002.
Chamarel village will host the next hash. The Josephs will be the two hares – Perry and Rey.
Participants will meet at the public parking in front of the Chamarel church.
For those who don’t know where Chamarel is, you take the West coast road towards Le Morne. Some way after Petite Riviere Noir, you will see a chapel on the left with a road beside it going towards the hills. Take this road up, up, up to the village of Chamarel. Fork left at the road junction. The church is on the left.
Alternatively (not recommended at present due to the excess traffic), you can take the Mar aux Vacoas road, straight past Petrin/Grand Bassin junction and keep going down, down, down the mountainside until you come to Camarel village. The church is on the right.
Hash #360 on 21st April 2002:
Coming from the South head for Grand Bay. Follow the motorway until you get to Triolet/Grand Bay roundabout: turn left in direction Triolet. Follow road for 1km and turn sharp right after sign to Cannoniers Point. Follow this winding road, passing Total garage on right. Carry straight on (past turn off to Trou aux Biches). At roundabout (Persand Royal Shop on your right) take first option to Club Med and Hotel Le Cannonier. Go 50 metres past hotels and follow sign to ‘Cannoniers Point’. With SeaPoint Bungalows in front of you follow road as it bends to right (look for Hash signs). Follow this small coast road for 600 metres and look for green metal gates (with Union Jack flag on!). Park on right hand side of road and walk through gates to garden and beach.
Hash #361 on 5th May 2002:
Go to the public beach at Point aux Piments (South of Trou aux Biches). You may be lucky and see some ‘Hash’ signs !
Hash #362 on 19th May 2002:
Take the Southgoing Motorway from Curepipe. After 2.5 km take the sliproad to 16eme Mille/Midlands.
Turn towards Midlands. After about 200m you will see Hash signs directing you along a small dirt road to the left. Follow Hash signs.
|Tony “Barnacle Bill” Ward – TonyWard@intnet.mu
|Clarence Babet & Charlie Scrimgeour
|Tony “Barnacle Bill” Ward
|Religious Adv/Sex Councillor:
|Eric “Hot-dog” Maard; deputy David “Shorty” Colbert
|Dave “Shorty” Colbert
|Peter “Long Zip” Attig
|Tom & Geeta “Tinkerbel”
|Drinks for Wimps ‘n Kids:
|“Lord & Lady” Russell
|Dave “Shorty” Colbert & Juliette “Snow White”
|Edit Hare and Webmaster:
|Bob Russell assisted by volunteer’s