Mauritius Hash Trash 604
11-09-2011 La Valette (Bambous) Harry BYO #604
VENUE: La Valette (Bambous)
HARES: Harry Rama
Kay Farrow in the absence of the Scribe who is roaming in the gloaming back in Bonnie Scotland this week.
A quirky multi-terrain trail which led Hashers through long grass and bushes, through an impressive social housing development, along quiet roads and through a sugar cane field. We even passed a charcoal manufacturing plant. There was a short river crossing via a log and our considerate hare had strung a rope across the water to act as a handrail. There were separate sections for runners and walkers. The hare advised that where the terrain made the marking with flour impossible he had used blue ribbon to show the way. Either Harry is colour blind or he had drunk too many Blue Marlins the night before but the ribbon was a distinctive red colour.
Around 60 hashers assembled for the Hash circle.
Here’s to the hares!
Harry was congratulated on the trail and was rewarded with a down-down. He thanked the GM for his assistance and advice with the planning of the trail.
- Christelle – Michelle’s daughter
- Brigitte – sister-in-law of Fran and Gilbert
Both said that they’d enjoyed the hash and would come back.
There were 4 second timers:
- Stuart and Juliet
- brother and sister Gregory and Roman (the sister)
Leslie suggested that they be given a Hash baptism in the adjacent stream but this was not endorsed by the Hash circle.
- New Deputy Hash Marketeer, Marinette, has t-shirts commemorating the 600th Hash for sale at MUR 250 and with embroidery courtesy of Rosemary.
- Claudia is the new Hash Cash. Thanks were expressed to Thierry for his sterling efforts as the previous incumbent. He is now too busy to perform this very important role.
- A sponsor is needed for the new Hash t-shirt which has been designed by Leslie. Proposals should be forwarded to the mismanagement as soon as possible.
- At the last Hash the laminated sheets detailing the new t-shirt design were not returned to Leslie. Whoever has them should note that they cannot be worn and Leslie would like them back.
- Claude promoted the sale of fresh boar and cerf at a very reasonable price from the nearby Médine shop which is open 3 p. m. – 6 p.m. on Sundays. He advised that the hunting season is coming to a close so carnivores should stock up on this wonderful fresh meat. It was noted that there is not much meat on Claude but if he gets 150% commission on sales to Hashers he should be able to afford to feed himself up a little.
- Dodocop still has a very good insulated drinks bottle which was left at the Hash several weeks ago. This was the third time that he had advertised this lost property in the Hash circle. It was agreed that the bottle could be auctioned at the next Hash if the owner does not come forward to claim it.
- Adrienne has lost property from the recent Sunset Hash at Albion – 2 tops, one orange and one black and a pair of sunglasses.
Religious and Sexual Advisor (RA)
As he stepped into the circle to tell his stories the RA was mocked for wearing a condom on his leg. It was actually a sturdy tubigrip bandage to support his weary calf muscle. The RA went on to tell two short stories encompassing sex and religion and appealing to the two facets of his role.
One Friday evening on his way home from church a priest decided to call at a hasher’s house to thank her for the flower arrangement that she had done recently for the church. She had put on such a wonderful display that the priest decided that he needed to thank her personally. On approaching the house he noticed balloons hanging from the veranda and lots of cars in the driveway but the curtains were drawn.
He knocked on the door but there was no response despite the fact that he could hear music and laughter coming from inside. Finding the door unlocked he opened it and went inside. There was nobody in the hall and the sound of music and laughter was coming from the lounge so he tapped on the door, opened it and went in. He found a large circle of naked men in the middle of the room. Women wearing blindfolds were moving from man to trying to guess their identity by fondling their private parts.
Our hasher, noticing the priest, poured him a whisky and took it over to him.
“Welcome father! Here’s a glass of your favourite whisky.” she said. The priest was very embarrassed and replied “I’m sorry but I don’t think that this is my type of party.”
“Nonsense,” said the host “your name’s been called out three times already’
A man was not feeling very well so he went to the doctor and was told that he only had 24 hours to live. He decided that like any good husband, he must go home at once and make passionate love to his wife. He crept into the bedroom, slid into bed and for the next three hours experienced the wildest sex he’d ever had in his life. Finally, exhausted, he crawled into the bathroom where he was surprised to see his wife lying in the bath with a mudpack on her face.
“How did you get in here?” he asked.
“Shhh,” said his wife “‘you’ll wake my mother up.”
- Marie-Anne was admonished for committing a very serious Hash crime – eating before the circle. Here’s to the sinner!
- Keith and John were ridiculed for discussing traffic management on the Hash. John was also congratulated for attending three hashes during his six week stay in Mauritius. Interestingly, he doesn’t drink beer so obviously only came to the Hash to discuss traffic management. Here’s to the oddballs!
- Adrienne was teased for losing her keys. It was uncertain what her motives were but the keys were returned. Here’s to the swinger!
- Dodocop was castigated for wearing sandals for the second Hash in succession. Here’s to the monk!
Gaëtan passed on the hash bell to Vincent in recognition of his strange attire. He sported heavy black boots and a pair of trendy jeans for the Hash. In mitigation Vincent admitted that as he had not been to the Hash for several weeks he had dressed for a leisurely walk. Here’s to the legionnaire!
Ryan the Trailmaster introduced Gaëtan as the hare for the next Hash which will be held at Cascavelle.
and finally…………..the mystery of the missing beer!
It was noted that 17 beer bottles were missing at the end of the Hash. Despite a thorough search of the immediate area they could not be found. The Hash will lose money as a result of this loss. What happened to the bottles?
- Taken home by forgetful hashers?
- Taken hostage by the Mauritius Mafia?
- Stolen by passers-by?
- Abducted by aliens?
Anyone holding a bottle hostage is asked to return it at the next Hash.
Note from (thirsty) Webmaster:
We are already loosing money on drinks. If something like this happens again we will have to consider stopping providing drinks.
Here’s to the Hash! On-on……………………
The Deputy Scribe (Kay)
|The Hash Mish-Management Team|
|Office||The 2011/ 2012 team|
|Supreme Being:||Jean Ramiah|
|Hare Line + Trailmasters:||Ryan Leeds|
|Religious and Sex Advisor:||Steve|
|Ice Maiden:||Gaetan (For the moment)|
|Drinks for Wimps ‘n Kids:||Also Gilbert|