Mauritius Hash Trash 550
16-08-2009 The Pirate Run at Albion Dodocop and Jean (Trailmaster Elect) Outside caterers (Ram) #550
PRE-RUN CIRCLE MIS-SPEECHES!
GM Alan had a few bees in his bonnet – he was very happy with today’s beautiful weather and announced the run as an official Treasure Hunt – with prizes from Captain Herbert’s Pirate Treasure Chest.
We were having the usual runners and walkers’ trails…naturally the walkers’ route would be excellent because the GM HIMSELF was walking today!!!
Hares Hip Hop
Today we had Dodocop on the left as OUTGOING TRAILMASTER and Jean on the right as INCOMING TRAILMASTER – so the run promised to be just PERFECT!
Dodocop explained the trail and how they tried to include all the features of a jolly good track, also featuring in today’s edition was a special mud-bath for the ladies (cheaper on the hash than anywhere else…guaranteed!!!)
Run 550 ~ 110 excited hashers and counting…
So there we were, at the aftermath of the usual horn-blowing and arm-waving…When the circle finally fell silent, these three stooges were sitting facing the crowd: GM Alan in the middle on his retirement rocking chair and sipping on a beer (in a wine glass!), on his left yours truly trying to scribble down all being said and on his right Captain Herb the Don.
The GM thought this was the most enjoyable hash he has ever had in Mauritius.
Maybe because he managed to keep in front of the runners (on the wimps’ trail) and he congratulated the walkers who showed the runners (wankers) how to RUN!!!
He advised the hares not to hide the “W” for walkers 100 metres down the track!!!!!
We had too many virgins!!! – a big bunch of no-names – so GM Alan decided to welcome them in crowd only and waved them away with his loo brush.
Next on the GM’s list was to thank the “lifeguards” in the pool for being ready in case anyone fell in…as well as our pirates at the hash bar. These hash-kids come in very handy!!!
LINE UP THE OLD MISMANAGEMENT HIERARCHY!
If you want to blame anyone for anything…blame them!!!
GM Alan thanked his team for their exceptional mismanaged contributions during the past year – and we all sang the jolly good fellow song, and so say all of us!
Captain Nemo chipped in and asked for three cheers for the GM – and thus the clash of the Grand Masters started between the two of them, GM Alan tried to mimic his own speech while Leslie tried to take over and pretended to be a ventriloquist.
RA Alistair was called in for a special farewell down-down ~ he is leaving tomorrow – he stayed on especially for this 550th run and the GM wanted to bid him goodbye with a special gift from us all – a squashed Phoenix Beer bottle. We hope to see you back in Mauritius Alistair, and wish you all the best on your travels!
RA Alistair took over – he looked just like a very naughty pussycat in his black tail and matching attire.
He started by saying what a sad day this was for him, and kept his glasses on just in case he cried!
1 ~ The RA appeared in his tail as he did almost a year ago at Halloween…because there were some ladies who asked him WHEN was he going to wear his tail again??? So he wanted to know if it was normal for a lady to ask a man to wear a tail?
MARIE CLAIRE and EILEEN! The circle decided they were indeed guilty and they had to take their down-downs even amidst all their protests!
2 ~ RA Alistair announced how surprised he was to find we had VAMPIRES in Mauritius! MIKE!!! Mike had not one…not two…but three bite marks on his neck oooh la la! The RA was just getting his garlic ready and warned us that Mike was undead, that he had “turned” – Mike protested it was only a mosquito bite but we knew better! Claude came to check his teeth, and the girls wanted to throw him in the pool. So…here’s to the SURVIVOR, he’s so BLUE! He’s a hasher through and through!
3 ~ Special down-down: GM Alan & Dodocop.
The RA wanted to make a special mention of these two …
The old and the new…
The borrowed and the blue… (Oooops sorry……)
The retiring and the raw…
They are two of the finest hashers around…and they have both done fantastic jobs, Alan as GM and Dodocop as Trailmaster… So they are GUILTY of being GOOD!!!
Alistair stepped out one last time and we all said goodbye…again!Jean was called in with his cowbell around his neck…he wanted to give it to a lovely lady who asked him why he had removed it because he was looking so NICE – Jacqueline!
She had to kneel down to receive her down-down and her cowbell all in one go!
GM Alan announced the HASH DONATION TO CHARITY – he called Harold to receive it on behalf of Terre de Paix, his charity in Albion, which cares for abandoned children in need.
QUIET PLEASE ! ! !
ATTENTION ! ! !
The moment we have all been awaiting has finally dawned!
The famous anointing of the new GM!
The Godfather, Herb the Don, was flown in especially for this occasion.
Dodocop had to kneel down in front of the Don who dubbed him three times with a Viking sword on the shoulders and swore him in as new Grand Master of the hash.
He had to take a special down-down out of a special vessel also known as the famous “piss-pot”.
ONE LAST THING!!!
Did you know?
Our new Trailmaster JEAN is destitute! He can’t find any volunteer for our next hash! Shocking!!!
Martin stepped in to save the day and also announced his birthday party on the 28th of August…
BE THERE OR ELSE!!!
ABSOLUTE BLOODY FINAL PLEA!!!
We need volunteers to replace our current Beer Master, Iceman and RA.
So if you feel you want to contribute on a REGULAR basis, if you have a 4×4 and have strong arms to carry beer crates, ice boxes and the like……we need you!
If you feel witty and wise and like to crack a joke or two……or even if you are a regular whacko…we need you too!!!
Sign up for a year of unforgettable excitement and laughs and consternations as part of our mismanagement team.
Our new GM Dodocop will be hunting for volunteers…don’t shout all at once!
GM Alan handed over his loo brush staff of office to Dodocop and swooped out of the circle for one last time, leaving Dodocop to say his piece. ON ON !!!
A very special thanks to Philida and her chef lady troops in the hash kitchen – they have been frying away at those “ti-purri’s” all morning and we take our hats off to them and all those who helped serving and EATING!!! Thanks Henriette for helping with the curries and your contribution.
After all this we even had two cakes…vanilla and chocolate…to commemorate this special day.
YUM YUM YUM!!!
I would also like to say a very special thanks to Harold and Adrienne for their outstanding hospitality today – we are very grateful!
One hundred and ten
Pirate-hashers in a den
Loads of laughter and fun
So join us again…
On our next run!
Zan – Your Edit Hare
|The Hash Mish-Management Team|
|Office||The OLD||The NEW|
|Supreme Being:||Alan “Strong On”||Gilbert “Dodocop”; Tel: (M)910 4062|
|Hare Line + Trailmasters:||Gilbert “Dodocop”; Tel: (M)910 4062|
Deputy: Alan “Strong on”; Tel: (H)675 0365, (M)790 9782
|Cellarmaster:||Chris & Tess (beer-a-dor/labrador) & Deputy Bob||Embarrassingly Vacant|
|Hash Horn:||Blob “Supremous Blobus”||Curtis (?)|
|Religious and Sex Advisor:||Alistair||Joint operation (Jacklin, Leslie)|
|Ice Man:||Dave H.||Embarrassingly Vacant|
|Drinks for Wimps ‘n Kids:||Harold||??|
|Hash Market:||Marie-Claude||Marie-Claire, Eileen|
Stand-in: Adrienne (or anyone who can write)
|Kitchen Mistress:||Marie Jo||Philida (Phone: 492 0609)|