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Mauritius Hash Trash 549

02-08-2009 La Ferme Jacquelin and Bertrand Henriette #549

Ahoy! Shiver me timbers!

We were all shivering and for once we tried to get INTO the sun OUT OF the shade rather than INTO the shade OUT OF the sun! (Or something like that)

And that’s not all!

Hmmmm…what else was on the hash menu today…
Crazy sailors, NAVEL strategies (ooooooops I mean NAVAL strategies, not belly dancing!) and a crowd full of mad hatter hashers.
Yep, you guessed right, we had a ship full of US Navy Sailors visiting our shores – which made for very good competition between HASH and POPEYE!


Phew…what a job to round up all these people with strange hats! Have I said that before? It seems we are making a habit of disobeying the GM’s calls to order!

Today’s run was very easy, dry, flat and good for all the front runners who were competing to get to the end first…ON! ON!

Welcome to the HAT HASH.

Our Hash mismanagement is back in full colour for one last time before the handover at the next hash – Shhhhhhh……and today as usual, they seem to be mis – managing just fine!

GM Alan appeared in full hash gear, with his cowbell and dodo-bones around his neck, a knife stuck through his head and a BIG SMILE on his face!

After he had our attention (finally) – he announced the very serious business to be taken care of first…sadly, at the next run (number 550), we will be losing the GM! (Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh, the crowd was urged to respond…).

The Hash Hierarchy proposed DODOCOP as the next GM and the circle seemed very happy about that – three cheers for Dodocop! No other proposals were put forward so I guess the choice has been made since no-one pleaded GM Alan to come back (Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh).

Ooh la la, great excitement in the circle!

First Timers

(Except for the US Navy)
Jean Paul (Mauritius)
Josh (UK)
Eric (UK)
Yasmin and Omar (Mauritius)
Mike (Switzerland)
Femke, Daanja and Liam (India)

Down – Downs

All hands hoay! Avast ye!
Our two bar ladies today were Marie France and Marie Claire.
RA Alistair took centre circle with his collar and BLING padlock – BON JOUR HASHERS!!!

Oh oh the GM forgot the hares, oh shipwreck!
The hares were called in quickly with some decorum and patted on the back for a very enjoyable trail!

Ahoy matey – let me see what I scribbled here on my treasure map – the RA was saying, as you all know, the hash is a mix between runners and walkers…and today we found ourselves in tough competition with the SUPERFIT US Navy.
Alas, we didn’t manage to match them, except for some heroes amongst us with determination, great character and grit…

1 ~ Liam, Pierre André, Veronique and David!!!
These prize hashers showed the Americans that here on our small island we could run just like the US Navy – oooh ooooh oooooooooh!

2 ~ Our American friends committed quite a few sins today…including Tyson who was spotted shortcutting, as well as a few Hash Virgins amongst the shipmates…so all the guys and girls from the US Navy had to come forward for a massive collective down-down.

Chaos on the ship!!! I mean…in the circle!!!

Chris was called in to say something – he wanted to split these sailors between who drank local beer and who didn’t, and he wanted to tell us all a short story
TESS (our beer-adoring Labrador) deserved a down-down for once upon a time rescuing Sherri, who got stuck in the “boonies” – Sherri called 911, and the US Navy sent a helicopter for her, so hence Tess is the only dog in Mauritius and in Guam who ever got rescued by the US Navy. HOORAH! Chris joined in the down-down on one condition, that they all drank local Phoenix Beer!

RA Alistair split them into two lines for a “boat race” down-down, starting from the bow all the way to the stern – Aye; there went plenty o’ grog down those thirsty throats!


The GM was waving his bones around and told the US Navy they were UNDISCIPLINED (unlike the British Army) – oh dash he just escaped being keelhauled there ouch!!!

GM Alan wanted to give the hostage back to BOB who was very cheeky to run past him!
But he had another idea up his sleeve …
He called in the CAPTAIN of the ship who daringly tried to pretend he was the GM…and because he could not receive the hostage as he was sailing soon, the GM also called in Jean who was pretending to be CAPTAIN of the ship (and was wearing a women’s navy hat…so much for crazy hat day hash!)

Aha – so next on the list was indeed some NAVEL movements – the Harriettes were asked to invite the sailors into the circle for an impromptu SEGA dance session – wiggle squiggle say no more!!!

Next up…the PRIZE for the BEST HAT!
1Bertrand called in his committee (the GM, the RA, and Jacquelin) who conferred, grabbed the bull by the horns and decided the bottle of wine was won by the Viking Captain of the ship himself!

Our next run will take place in Albion – it will be the famous 550th run and we are getting rid of the hierarchy!

Martin announced that we should watch the web for details on his birthday bash – he wasn’t sure when – no wonder our Martin is also a part of the Mismanagement Committee!!!

Thanks HARES!!!

Thanks HENRIETTE for the food – she was standing at the hogshead, serving salmagundi along with other yummy nibbles!!

Julien wanted to do some business on the hash and asked GM Alan to announce that he was selling his car, so the GM was quite disgusted with him but still demanded 10% if he managed to make a sale! Cheeky devils!

Bon voyage to the navy!!!

Gobbly dee – do I feel like a pirate or what?
All hope abandon…Ye who enter here…
Come climb the Jacob’s ladder
…hoist yer Jolly Roger
& unleash yer inner buccaneer.

Zan – Your Edit Hare

The Hash Mish-Management Team
Supreme Being:Alan “Strong On”
Hare Line + Trailmasters:Gilbert “Dodocop”; Tel: (M)910 4062
Deputy: Alan “Strong on”; Tel: (H)675 0365, (M)790 9782
Cellarmaster:Chris & Tess (beer-a-dor/labrador) & Deputy Bob
Hash Horn:Blob “Supremous Blobus”
Religious and Sex Advisor:Alistair
Ice Man:Dave H.
Ha$h Ca$h:Henriette
Drinks for Wimps ‘n Kids:Harold
Hash Market:Marie-Claude
Edit Hare:Zandré,
Stand-in: Adrienne (or anyone who can write)
Kitchen Mistress:Marie Jo (Tel. 453 9675) & Sarah as gourmet deputy

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