528 Hash Trash

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Mauritius Hash Trash 528

05-10-2008 La Cambuse Bertrand and Dodocop Primerose, Sylvie, Patty #528

Hellooooo all you avid Trash Worms!

For those of you not lucky enough to have joined today’s fun run, according to the trash meteo shall we say it was a perfect example of our Mauritian Micro Climate in a seashell ~

Soaking downpour with icy coldy wind gusts…

followed by…

Beautiful sunshine & calm breezy blue skies!

With our two hares now officially called the TRAIL TECHNICIANS, it promised to be a very fascinating run!

Run 528 ~ excitements
I think we all agree that today’s hash was just idyllic ~ a true feast for the eyes…including a bit of everything that helped make the trail picture perfect…from the beautiful seashore to small rivulets, walks through evergreen woods and even rural tomato plantations ~ surely something to write home about!

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Circle Scenes

GM Alan was so preoccupied getting everyone’s attention that he forgot what he wanted to say…for a wee moment that is…

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GM’s List

Send in the clowns…oh sorry about the trash wobble… I mean, the HARES!

Bertrand & Dodocop…the circle made no complaints or attempts to strangle them but instead gave them a loud applause for a smashing job!
Thanks to Patti for today’s food…

Introducing a new member of the Hash Hierarchy who hasn’t received his T-shirt or public recognition yet … Harold (Mr. Softie … for bringing the soft drinks) ~ Harold kindly stood in for Chris today and also brought the BEERS, but the twist in this tale is that GM Alan had a cunning plan up his sleeve and pointed out how Harold put the Beer and Ice the wrong way round in the Hash Coolers so he had to be punished and commended at the same time! Aaaaaauw poor Mr. Softie had to down his beer with ICE and he even got ICE thrown down his neck – now he can definitely say he got the t- shirt!

M..mmm.mmm mm who do you think will be next in line on the list?

GM Alan called Marie Claude to the centre circle not just to thank her for her hash marketeering efforts but also to wish her a happy birthday! She downed her birthday beer in style on her knees like only a proper hasher could! We wish you all the best for a great year ahead and many happy returns!

Important Announcement ~ Blob & Kathy are safely back in Mauritius and everything went well…we are all very happy to hear this good news and send them both lots of cheers & wishes and hope to see our HASH HORN back on track soon!

There will be an INTERHASH next year in Uganda – if anyone is interested to go please report to the GM for further details.

First Timers
Gary (UK)

On the inevitable question if he was coming back he was frightfully not politically correct and said he wasn’t sure because he is very “variable”….I could just see the GM making a mental scribble about this hash virgin, and would probably make him down a beer if he does come back… (Invariably….isn’t that what happens to second timers …?)

Second Timers

Olivier (Mauritius)
Lucien (not sure, was it Switzerland?)
Mylene & Lindsay (Mauritius)

Oh My! The GM was shocked at most of these wimps wanting COCA COLA instead of beer so he even offered them coffee with milk & sugar!

Silence unless you also want a downy!

Silence for the RA!
Our MYSTERY RA ~ who gave the secret AWAY!

Leslie, aka Captain Nemo …trotted into the circle on his scottish toes and started to tell us a little story…

As Captain Nemo and his wife Marie Claude were coming towards the hash today thinking it would be a nice leisurely drive, their peaceful scenic route meanderings were shattered by a thousand cyclists on a race, ooh la la, I think they’ve encountered the famous Deutsche Bank Mauritius Cycle Tour 2008 !!

But the real story our RA wanted to tell was that we don’t always have tragedies on the hash, today’s story has a happy ending…grasping everyone’s undivided attention…

A snippet of a day in the life of Mr. & Mrs. C.

Once upon a time there was a hasher who thought he was an international wrestler…who challenged a marine and then became a casanova and even to his wife’s surprise wanted to enter the Tour de France!

So, this got Mrs. C a bit worried and she decided to take Mr. C to a specialist at Clinic Darne. The specialist ordered an immediate brain scan and strapped Mr. C onto the scanner. As Mr. C got sucked into the machine, a surprised doctor told him as he came out…that he couldn’t find a brain! Jeepers…so the doc scanned him a second time and then found what appeared to be some brain left behind his right ear.

Mr. & Mrs. C returned the next day to receive the result of the scans…and got some bad news from the doctor! Mr. C needed a complete brain transplant at the cost of Rs 1 million! (That is approximately the price of a new Citroen…so Mr. & Mrs. C wanted to know if there wasn’t any cheaper option?)

At which the doc replied he could transplant a LADY’s brain as they are much cheaper !

BOOOOO BOOOOO BOOOOO ~ where are all those tomatoes we saw earlier?

But Captain Nemo soon made a comeback by saying…

Why is a LADY‘s brain much cheaper than a MAN’S? Because they have been USED !

Ha, what a narrow escape, Mr. RA!

I could just see all those girls in the circle getting ready for a RATTACK ! (Short for RA attack)

down ~ downs

The RA tried a different torture technique…by process of elimination…

Hands up all those who hashed without water? (Oh too many…let’s try again)

Hands up all those who NEVER bring water on the Hash?

The crowd was still too big so the RA sent all those with good excuses out of the circle…and ended up with a shortlist of unhealthy sinners who would soon be healthily punished by downing some proper hash water! (We all know what hashers call their WATER…yes? Yes?)


But…there was also a lady who needed to be called in question…Mrs. DODOCOP!

Franchette was guilty of sitting with her back against the beautiful sea view and when asked why… she answered that her HUSBAND was the lovely view she saw and she had to pay for being utterly soppily romantic!

Right before they had to down it the GM chipped in, justly so because that famous Mr. C just arrived from his SWIM IN THE SEA!

CLAUDE the WRESTLER with newly implanted Lady Brain had to join the d~d group and they all downed their beers together and almost but not quite…soaked the RA for dishing out the “hash water torture”!

Now what am I missing…?

Apart from (not) telling you how annoyed the GM got after he thanked everyone who spoke English in the circle even though it wasn’t their mother tongue… and still heard some French from the Peanut Galleries….oh let’s not get into a gourmet lingo fight…it might lead to unnecessary Yorkshire Puds and French Camembert being tossed around and our parents taught us not to play with our food!)

And before we get too hungry…


The one …

The only…

The oh so friendly…


Marie Claire decided that JACQUELIN was to inherit the Smelly for a whole two weeks because he is a NAUGHTY GIGOLO…doing and saying naughty things in the absence of his better half!

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So he invested the Smelly in Style and took his shower like a good sport, afterwards hugging EVERYBODY who came along just to get his own back and pass on some Smelly Magic!

Next on today’s delicious hash menu was none other than…Patti’s Special Chicken Fried Noodles ~ and finally the silence everyone wanted during the circle while we all gobbled away…as they say…there’s nothing like food to get straight to a hasher’s heart! (Or something like that!)

wiggle squiggle

share a giggle

thrills & spills

push away those winter chills!

Trash highs

Trash lows

it’s time for me to go

Kisses from the trash desk!

Zan ~ Your Edit Hare

Trash Album Bits & Bobs

White Hat Trio

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Poker Girls

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The Hash Mish-Management Team
Supreme Being:Alan “Strong On”
Hare Line + Trailmasters:Gilbert “Dodocop”; Tel: (M)910 4062
Deputy: Alan “Strong on”; Tel: (H)675 0365, (M)790 9782
Cellarmaster:Chris & Tess (beer-a-dor/labrador) & Deputy Bob
Hash Horn:Blob “Supremous Blobus”
Religious and Sex Advisor:Alistair
Ice Man:Dave H.
Ha$h Ca$h:Henriette
Drinks for Wimps ‘n Kids:Harold
Hash Market:Marie-Claude
Edit Hare:Zandré,
Stand-in: Adrienne (or anyone who can write)
Kitchen Mistress:Marie Jo (Tel. 453 9675) & Sarah as gourmet deputy

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