Mauritius Hash Trash 337

20-05-2001 Albion Angus One Knee #337

Run held at Splendid Village, Albion

JM : Cupid
RA II : Barnacle Bill
Temporary Hash Scribes : Penny Farthing and Barnacle Bill
Harriers, Harriettes and Ankle Biters: 51
Distance covered: 2.5 miles

First Timers: Helen May-Simera (contact:
Aimee Blanc (contact:
Dietmar Bauerfond (Plaisance Catering, tel/fax: 698 7960)
‘Baggyone’ – (Graham Wilson – contact:
‘Phobia’ – (Vicki Jarmaine – contact:

Second Timers: Merete Maard already carries her hash name with her from Abidjan and Paris – ‘Danish Pastry’
Billy Lorimer became ‘Benny Hill’ and gave us an uncanny impression with a Benny salute
Alison Lorimer is now known as ‘Leprechaun’ for unfathomable reasons
Beverly Bayernfein was well on the way to being christened ‘Kiwi’ or something until Cupid insisted on ‘Big Tits’ so, as she was liberally sprinkled with the holy Phoenix water, that is what she will now be embarrassingly known as.
All the above heroically managed the obligatory baptismal down down within 10 seconds apart from Leprechaun who prefers another liquid so I’m told. The resulting spillage was criminal and brought tears to my eyes.

Special Down Downs:
Breaking with tradition and a possible breach of protocol, RA II awarded down downs to himself and to Penny-Farthing for their late arrival.
Cupid was next up and received an extra special privilege double down down for SCBing and Public Display of Affection (PDA) with a bee – poor defenceless insect – good snogger though!!
Lord Russell, Cellar Master and Baggyone were recognised for leaking without permission on the trail
Your stand in RA II then asked the audience a complicated quiz question about the order of importance of Hash trucks. The Hashers correctly identified the Beer Truck as the most important wagon but had a little difficulty with the next until RA II reminded them how unpleasant warm beer can be. Accordingly Peter ‘Ice Maiden’ was savagely punished for locking his car keys in the Ice Truck.
Ian ‘Sexstyle’ was singled out for Hash Flash spying without JM’s permission
Hare : Angus One Knee – Marks out of 10 for the trail, 6 points were awarded on the basis that, though flat and short, the weather was too hot. The Hare can never win but deserved his down down anyway for allowing the trail to be rubbed out by a suspicious local worried that flour might be poison!!!

Fashion Award: The best-dressed harriettes were ‘Phobia’ for her matching fluorescent pink ensemble (Phobia is from Canberra, although RA II, confused after his down down, thought that Sydney was the capital of Australia and Canberra was an aircraft!! Phobia correctly told me I was full of shit!).
Alison – ‘Leprachaun’ – for a clockwork bumbag noticed by the lecherous
RA II who admitted to being hypnotised by the swaying motions in front of him on the trail.
Nominations are, of course, allowed providing the stitch up is done discreetly or in full earshot of the Hash and is about someone else. Unfortunately Saddam failed miserably on the last proviso and did not receive a down down for cheerfully trying to nominate himself for SCBing.

Mystery The whereabouts of the Toilet Seat still unknown (one suggestion by Peter – Long Zip was that it was being used over the weekend). Come back Nick we need the Smelly White returned!!!!

Reminder Hash Cash fee is now Rs75 per run. Sorry folks we were not breaking even but losing money at Rs50.

Tony ‘Barnacle Bill’ and Penny ‘Farthing’ for the huge baguette sarnies.
Angus for setting the trail all on his own (especially after working all night) – good trail without too many nasty obvious arrows.

#338 3 June – SADDAM – RIVER NOIRE, CENTRE DE PECHE (Saddam promises it will be very wet, whatever that means)
#339 17 June – #340 1 July – Tony

#338 3 June – Cupid #339 17 June
#340 1 July – ???

Directions to next Hash, Number 338.
Go to Black River, Centre de Peche

Supreme Beings:Blob Latimer (6963815) & Kevin Murray (2547074)
Trailmaster:Clarence Babet
Cellarmaster:Tony ‘Barnacle Bill’ Ward
Hash Horn:Tony ‘Barnacle Bill’ Ward
Religious Adv/Sex Councillor:Andreas Lohmier, deputy ‘Barnacle Bill’
Barbecue Bearer:Dave ‘Shorty’ Colbert
Ice Maiden:Peter Attig
Ha$h Ca$h:Tom & Geeta
Drinks for Wimps ‘n Kids:Lord & Lady Russell
Hash Market:Dave ‘Shorty’ Colbert & Juliette ‘Snow White’
Edit Hare:Bob Russell at present

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